i understand.....

Here I am, still unborn….Am fighting, kicking and struggling….
In the warmth of the womb, I never wanna leave so I do it bawling and wailing….

Closed eyes, and fists clenched tight…holding on to the warmth with all might….
Of the breast that comforts me so…slowly opening my eyes, I see the blinding light….

I start to understand…what is what…As I cling on to that lap…
As I smell and sense her warmth….Comfortable here I take my nap……

Slowly I climb out of the shell….Explore the unknown on my own….
Only I don’t realize…That soft, firm hand so ready to hold me lest I fall…

I talk to, I cry to, I feel, I treasure this same…Soft yet so strong a wall of trust….
I enter a life so independent…..Slowly however…it starts gathering layers of dust….

I still remember her; I still miss her….Somehow, however in my false complacence…
I forgot to let her know so…But oh! She will understand…. I’m sure she can sense….


As time goes by, I find things more important MY family, MY kids, My job, MY money
That is how I sum up MY world Oh, am so busy…I cry so…now it sounds a lil phoney…

It’s been a while she hasn’t seen me…..Down the line the bond weakens……
She can’t see nor can she hear….she needs a lot of care….so the man in me reckons….

Mother! I hope you will understand….You will have ppl your age around you
People around to take care of you Oh! I will come n visit…see I never can forget you…

Her lips smile but the smile never reaches eyes I ignore it completely…as here I stand…
Can I ever do anything that will be bad….Oh mother! I hope you will understand….

She smiles her vacant smile back at me and nods in agreement…
Satisfied and relieved I go to sleep…..she will understand…..
I push back all the memories of times long gone….
I go to her…she is still in bed…at the door I stand…

I frown…should I wait…or just prod her awake….
I go to her…I touch her…the warmth is all gone…at the bedstead I stand…
She is all cold life has left her…but her vacant smile is still there as if saying….
Oh son! Its ok I understand!

the five...

And so it began with them five….
So close, so near, so innocent...
Tumbling through the path of life…..
Caring neither for a penny nor for a cent.

Growing up has always been fun...
And is a journey so adventurous…….
When the five did it all as one……
Taking by horns a bull so treacherous…

Oh! They were all friends with love and care….
Friendship and loyalties all for each other….
Crossing all the worries with feelings so bare…..
‘I after you’ they told each other….

Tides of time swept over and so came adolescence…
Education…worldliness….practicality and what not
All of that taught as a defense
Against the world they had to if they wish so or not!!!

Oh! But what happened to the friends…
As you ask so I tell with my heart tearing apart…
They learn acting so as grown ups….and so it all ends…
Success comes to them each at the prices that their ways they part….

And so hardens the innocence to cunnings….
And so goes the love and tenderness…
As treachery and theft comes on to them running...
The warmth hence cools down dissolving itself to nothingness….

Here I stand, one of the five…
Oh yes! Am so lonely for so long…
All the joy gone from ma life…
Oh! Here I stand still wondering…what went wrong….

man...woman

I am a man…yes I am a man….
Who is but a man???
Is he the pillar on which leans a family…..?
No coz it leans firmly on the woman of the house….

I am a man…yes I am a man…..
Who is but a man???
Is he the symbol of power and strength…?
No coz that strength flows in him through the woman in his life…

I am a man…yes I am a man…
Who is but a man???
Is he the one who shoulders the pain and miseries of a family…?
No coz they are borne forever by the woman so willingly….

I am a man…yes I am a man…
Who is but a man???
Is he the one who takes care of his children…?
No coz it is the woman who bears them….

I am a man…yes I am a man…
Who is but a man???
Is he the one who protects the vulnerable from their miseries……?
No coz, he is shielded from them by his woman, who is so devoted to her…..

Everything that defines a man…..
Is but a shadow of a woman in him…
As we realize one without the other is as incomplete as can be…..
And so are made to complete each other, not to supersede one another…

different....

Standing by the tree, I see the kids playing…
I go to them but I am shunned…
You are different they say…stay away they say…
Is that when on me it dawned??

I see the school kids sitting….
By the playground picking…
With whom they wanna play…
You are different they say….you stay away they say….
Those words are still pricking…

Still flushed with shame…
I grow and reach my college…
Few can do the same….
So I sit by a group….they raise their brows and say
You are different….you stay away…

I see the love of my life…walking by the road…
Hand in hand with a guy…he is so like her…
Oh how I wish he be her brother!!!
I go to her and say all I want to say…
She looks at me and smiles….

You are different she says…
But I know what it means now…as I turn away…
She holds my hand and says…
You are so different from the crowd…
That is what makes you unique….

And now I understand……
This difference is what made me stand out…
How else did I do what I did...?
How else did I get what I got…?

And today if they say
You are different…
No more is there hostility…
All I feel is the admiration behind it….

And I smile at them…
Oh Yes! Am so different…..

in search of a miracle....

Days pass by…and here I lie….
Not bothered…unaffected…..
Storms fly by….but here I lie…
Waiting for a miracle unprecedented….

They ask me….what ails you…
But what do I know…..
They search me for thoughts…
I still don’t know…what eats me so….

I see the dreams I wished to live…
The dreams once so near….
I almost felt them on my fingertips…
The thought itself so hard to bear….

I hear the sound of the success…
That once was what that kept me going….
The sound that once deafened me…
Now replaced by a silence so annoying…

I breathe the air in, but can it give me life?
I drink water, but can it quench my thirst?
I eat, but can it make me go on for long?
I see, but can I see the sight that greeted me first?

And so, the days pass by.... here I lie…
Not bothered…unaffected….
Storms fly by…but here I lie….
Waiting and waiting for a miracle so unprecedented……

far apart....

distance...do you know what it means...
its not measured in miles, kms or inches
its not the time you take either
itsnot the mundane road that you take each day to reach work
its not even that bloody traffic jam that you wade through
its not the voyage the river takes to sea or ships take through sea

its what we have between me and you
its the space that I can only hope to cover
its those words that i am still looking for
its those thoughts that, today, we chose to keep to ourselves...