एक जोड़ा पंखों का

एक जोड़ा जो पंखों का मुझे भी दिया होता...
जब मन होता उड़ जाती...
उड़ान मन की भर पाती...
अपने मन को टोह पाती...
आधा सा जो मन लेके जीती हूँ ...
बाकी का आधा भी ढूंढ पाती..
मन मेरा आधा ही है मेरे पास...
आधा मन तो मायके में छोड़ आई हूँ...
घिरते हैं जब उदासी के बादल...
अम्माँ बहोत याद आती हैं...
छोटी सी भी हो जो चोट...
बाबा का मलहम आता है याद...

अपनी उदासी खुद ही मिटाती हूँ...
अपनी चोट भी खुद ही सहलाती हूँ...
बस सोचा करती हूँ...
एक जोड़ा पंखों का मेरा भी होता...
उड़ जाती मन के साथ...
उड़ जाती मन के पास...

बंद मुट्ठियों के बेमाने पल...

बचपन में कभी सुना था की बंद सीपियों में मोती मिला करते हैं... गहरे समंदर में डुबकी लगाकर गोताखोर इन्हें ढूंढ कर लाया करते हैं... तबसे हर चीज़ को मुट्ठी में भींच कर उसकी कीमत बढ़ाने की कोशिश में हूँ...

वक़्त को भींचा था एक बार, खोला तो यादें बन कर उड़ गया... रुका नहीं कहीं... बचपन को क़ैद करने की कोशिश की, खोला तो मासूमियत में कुछ सिलवटें आ गईं... जवानी को भी बहोत रोका, खोला तो पाया इसमें भी अब  गहरी झुर्रियाँ पड़ गईं थीं... खिलखिलाती हंसी को मुट्ठी में भर लेने की भी की थी कोशिश... अब सिर्फ ख़ाली सी इक गूँज सुनाई पड़ती है... कभी कभी

वक़्त पर मुट्ठी खोलना सीख लिया है अब मैंने... हर लम्हे को जीना रास आने लगा है...

बंद मुट्ठियों की अब हमें दरकार कहाँ?

RIP... a rare teacher...

The man died doing what he loved...teaching...blessed he must be... A sad loss for the nation...a grand life and a legacy left behind... May his ‪#‎dreams‬ be realized even after he has left...  ‪#‎RIP ‬ ‪#‎APJAbdulKalam‬ 

Back when Newspapers carried news

There was a time when reading the newspaper did not put me in a bad mood, it did not make me negative, it did not bring me down for the rest of the day... I woke up to a big resource with loads to offer...this was back when I was a school student... These days when I pick it up, there is a sense of dread, of fear and an impending sense of doom. Even the headlines scare me, they paint such a gory picture that I feel agitated for hours after it...

I do realize that the negative stuff also needs to be reported of course. But do they need to be splattered across the front page and make it way bigger than it really was! After reading these gory "news" stories everyday, it was a shocking realization today that, it isn't the brutality of "human" beings that surprises me anymore. It is kindness and humanity that surprises me... How sad it that?

Don't people (whoever these people are) realize that the newspapers or the news channels for that matter, bring down the morale of the whole nation, especially the youth in a big big way... The confidence, the values and the positivity have gone spiraling down.... Hope is dying...

a wee bit of introspection...

Someone recently quoted Joker in The Dark Knight and told me “If you are good at something, never do it for free…” Fortunately or unfortunately this is someone whose opinion carries some weight for me. So… after some much needed introspection I tried to figure out what is it that is stopping me. I write quite often, I write about things that affect me or have a general effect on the immediate “society” (for the lack of a better term) around me.

What is it that stops me from approaching someone to pay me for it? Well… the biggest of course is my lack of confidence, my deep seated insecurities and awareness of incompetence. Also, I do realize that whatever little audience I do have currently, who are appreciating my work as of now; they will cease to appreciate it, when they have to pay for it.

I mean how many of you guys would willingly pay to read what I write? Right?

The parameters will change, the expectations will rise exponentially and being the scaredy cat that I am, I will retreat deep into a shell and lick my wounds.

So to quote someone else from somewhere else… “Why spoil a good thing?”

Just a Random chain of thoughts....

Yes, we live in a world of paradoxes and ironies. When I step out in the evening, my mother is concerned that she doesn't know the guy I am going out with, well not that well. But she didn't think twice before she allowed me to go to bed with a stranger – my husband. I work in an MNC, but when my in-laws are around I put vermilion in my neatly parted hair and never are my wrists, neck and ears unadorned. I can’t hold my husband’s hands in public, but am expected to produce an heir before I complete a year of my marriage. I am supposed to be a modern, independent woman, working in the field of my own choice, rubbing shoulders with my male counterparts, but it’s me who is supposed to hand my husband the glass of water. I teach my boy to not cry and be a man, he hears make a woman cry to be a man. My mother wants me to dominate my husband, but her son to be the man and never listen to his wife. People can piss but not kiss in public. Rape goes unpunished but a love among the members of the same sex is deemed “unnatural”. I get just one coach in the Delhi metro but am molested and told to go back to the ladies coach if I step into a general one. But I wonder what has changed since the last generation! Facebook, whatsapp and twitter? Is that all? 

No, that isn't all. I can express my opinions to my husband and in-laws, without being reprimanded, shouted at or maybe beaten. A mother can put in an ad for a groom for her gay son. Rape victims have found support. I have a choice to know the stranger I am supposed to marry. I can drive down to wherever I need to be, without depending on the man of the house. I can support my own family without raising eyebrows. I can walk out of a terrible marriage and not be branded “characterless”. But what has not changed is that people still excel at criticizing. Criticism just for the heck of it. So what if she wants an Iyer groom for her Iyer son. We ignore the big step that she has taken in accepting a big part of her son’s life and find faults in her preferences! She respects his preference, why can’t we respect hers?

अब और नहीं...अब बस!

खोद रहे हैं, भेद रहे हैं...नोच रहे हैं खरोच रहे हैं...
सीने में उसके है जो खज़ाना... लालच में उसके, बस लगे हुए हैं
हल चलता था तो सोना उगता था खेतों में...
नींव खुदती थी तो छत भी ढलती थी सर पर अपने..
कब न जाने थोड़ा और, थोड़ा और करते करते 
पर्बत पठार सब चीर दिए...
कहीं हथौड़ा, कहीं कील और कहीं बड़ी बड़ी दैत्याकार मशीनें
इन सब ने उघाड़ कर रख दिया उस माँ को
क्यों कोई न चीखा उसके लिए?
क्यों कोई न बोला उसके लिए?
देश प्रगति पर है!
देश बढ़ रहा है!
गढ़ा खज़ाना उबार रहा है!
पर माँ बोली अब बस!
अब बस!
अब बस हुआ अब बहोत हुआ
Katrina से न समझे तुम जब
Tsunami से न समझे तुम जब
अब नेपाल के हाल से तुम क्या कुछ सीखोगे..
पर अब बस!
सब को अपनी गोद में पाला
सब तुम्हारी गलतियों पर खूब मैंने परदा डाला
पर अब और नहीं!
अब संघार से क्यों हो डरते?
अब विनाश से क्यों हो डरते?
अब उस विपदा से क्या कतराना?
सब तुमने ही लिखा भाग्य में...
सब तुमने ही रचा खेल ये...
पर अब बस!
अब मेरी है बारी आई...
पासा अब है मेरा, नियति की इस चौपड़ में...
अब बस!